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Over the last 12 to 15 months, I’ve operated on adrenaline rush and in most ways neglected personal care. Many people who’ve had the opportunity to know me personally know that I always motivate others to prioritize self-care in order to grow and develop. I’ve seen many of these friends, acquaintances and colleagues, take the advice and the benefits have been quite visible in their lives.

The hard part of everything is when you yourself forget to ask if you’re giving yourself enough self-care that would also help you. I didn’t completely neglect my self-care but my feeling especially in the last month is along some very complex lines. There were three things in particular that I feel I should have prioritized in order to feel on top of affairs.

I’ve constantly advocated for mental health opportunities for men because of the societal stigma that comes with men asking for help. Men have always been the stronger gender and in most cases get mocked when we show emotion and express our feelings. Well for a while I’ve cowered and failed to communicate my feelings because people see me as the “strong, compassionate and loving person.” Who counsels the counsellor? Who intercedes for the intercessor? That’s the dilemma I faced but let me clarify this because it could come out as controversial. There were one or two people who are confidantes, unfortunately in this situation they were the source of worry and some pain so there was no way they were the best people to speak to.

Physically, it’s been a messy period for me and I can’t blame anyone. My fitness regimen has messed up partly because of a few uncomfortable pains I’ve felt during some sessions. I stopped doing core exercise, skipping, long-walking and shadow boxing, which are things I love doing. The result was fluctuating weight that was visible to many. Sometimes my trousers would have to come tummy high because I’d lost weight over-night and now it’s oversized. Last weekend, I decided it was time to get back to doing fun fitness stuff and I can’t wait to see the effect it will have.

The last thing I didn’t take care of in particular was RELATIONSHIPS with others. I think after graduation you’re not completely prepared for the drastic changes in your life and that can affect how you maintain these after the binding factor (school) is no longer in the picture. My relationship with some important people derailed and never got back on track. In some cases, the derailment caused rifts and change in attitudes and relations that seem to have worked out for some of them. I’ve had time to reflect on this and there are some of these things I’d love to have back and unfortunately, it seems some are ready to move on from me.

I’ve re-committed to SELF-CARE particularly over the next six weeks and it’s a well thought-out plan. Step one is an enforced social media break that would be a minimum of 48 hours. It’s not a total blackout on social media for me but a largely reduced level of activity, just to have time for myself. I’d probably read a book or watch a movie or call someone. Whatever happens I’ll come right back here to update you after the social media break. Who knows, I may have some tips for you on how to do without social media.

Until my return, keep reading the 110 posts on this space and let’s TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES


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